Football vs Football

I am well aware that what Americans call football is to the rest of the world, frankly not. While the British have tactfully tacked “American” in front of “football” to clarify, Americans need a little wider variation. We have “football” and “soccer”.

Yet, nothing could possibly be so contentious between British English speakers and American English speakers than what is REAL football with the obvious exception being the proper pronunciation of aluminum.

The lexicon Cold War is typically restricted to off-hand comments and friendly banter, but on Sunday that good-natured battle between neighbors across the pond reached Cuban Missile Crisis intensity. The New Orleans’ Saints hosted the San Francisco Chargers in London, and one popular sports bar decided to broadcast the game along with a soccer match between two embittered rivals. The mingling of fans was about as harmonious as a Love Boat Reunion at a Marilyn Manson concert.

The establishment made the best attempt to separate the two crowds with the televisions on one side of the bar showing one game and the opposite end of the room showing the other, yet the bar was located right in the middle of the sports demilitarized zone. Who can watch either footballs without a beer?

In that contested territory I learned one very important fact about American football. The game is in fact, “wussy rugby” because they wear protective gear.

To be fair, the fan base did not fall straight down nationality lines. Many Americans enjoy soccer, and some brave Brits spent four hours trying to decipher such novelty terms as sack, on-side-kick, and excessive celebration penalty. Other than a group of chaps dressed as cheerleaders who probably would fit in comfortably at a Marilyn Manson Love Boat Reunion, both groups of football fans maintained the proper decorum expected at a London sports pub.

Although the question of which sport deserves the title might remain unanswered, football and football managed to coexist peacefully for one night at least.